The topic in this article is one of the most important concepts to learn and master you will ever encounter.
It’s really the key to success and failure in anything you do. It’s the root of everything.
It may sound silly to you and something of a cliche, but just keep reading for a couple minutes.
Hey, I hope you find the video below helpful! It is a quick clip featuring Dr. Jones and Dr. Joe Vitale teaching how to catch your negative thoughts’ and turn them into positive thoughts/beliefs. Enjoy!
You may have already read my eBook How To Change Anything In Your Life, but if not, I’ll link to it at the end of this article, but until then, this content will get you going in the right direction quickly.
Let’s Make Some Changes Right Now
First, write four actions that you need to take that you’ve been putting off.
Maybe you need to make more money. Maybe you need to stop smoking. Maybe you need to communicate with someone you’ve had a falling out with, or reconnect with.
Second, under each of these actions, write the answer to the following questions:
Why haven’t I taken action? What pain have I linked to taking this action before? Answering these questions will help you understand that what has held you back is that you’ve associated greater pain with taking the action than to not taking it.
Be honest with yourself. If you’re thinking, “I have no pain that is associated to it,” think a little harder.
Maybe the pain is simple: maybe it’s the pain of taking time out of your busy schedule.
Third, write all the pleasure you’ve had in the past by indulging in this negative pattern.
It’s crazy us humans take pleasure in negative and destructive patterns, yet it’s super important to believe and accept we all do it.
For example, if you think you should lose some weight, why have you continued to eat whole slices of
cake and bulk-size bags of donuts, and to guzzle twelve-packs of sugary soda pop?
You’re avoiding the pain of depriving yourself from these foods.
You’re eating these foods because it makes you feel good right now. It gives you pleasure! Instant pleasure! No one wants to give up these feelings!
Creating a change that will last means finding a fresh way to get the same pleasure without the negative consequences.
Identifying the pleasure you’ve been getting will help you know what your target is.
Fourth, write what it will cost if you don’t change now.
What will happen if the eating of so much sugar and fat continues? If you don’t stop smoking? If you don’t make that phone call that you know you need to make? If you don’t start consistently working out each day?
Be honest with yourself. What’s it going to cost you over the next two and even five years?
What’s it going to cost emotionally? What’s it going to cost in terms of your self-image? How much physical energy will it cost?
What will it cost you in your feelings of self-esteem? What will it cost financially? What will it cost in relationships with the people you care about most?
How does that make you feel? Don’t just say, “It will cost me money” or “I will be fat.” That’s not enough.
It’s important to remember that what drives our emotions.
Get associated with and use pain as a friend. One that can drive a new level of success.
The last step is to write all the pleasure you’ll receive by taking each of these actions in this moment.
Make a huge list that will drive you emotionally, that will really get you excited: “I’ll gain the feeling of really being in control of my life, of knowing that I’m in charge.
I’ll gain a new level of self-confidence. I’ll gain physical and health and have more energy. I’ll be able to strengthen all my relationships.
I’ll develop more self-directiveness which will help in every other area in life. My life will be better in every area over the next two to five years.
By taking this action, my dream will be a reality. See all the positive affects both in the present and in the long term.
We Link Negative Associations To Change
The idea of instant change is scary to most. Instant change means if we can change that easily, why didn’t we change a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, and it would have been over.
How quickly could a person recover from the loss of a loved one and felt differently? Physically, they can do it the next morning, yet they don’t.
The reason is that we have a set of beliefs in our culture that fuels the need to grieve for a certain time period.
We choose the pain of grieving rather than changing our emotions until we’re satisfied that our rules and cultural standards about what’s appropriate have been met.
There are cultures that celebrate when someone dies. They believe God always knows the right time for us to leave the earth, and that death is graduation.
They also believe if you were to grieve about someone’s death, that action would show nothing but your own lack of understanding of life. That you would show your own selfishness.
Since this person has gone on to a better place, you’re feeling sorry for no one but yourself. They link pleasure to death, and pain to grieving, so grief is not a part of their culture.
Not that grief is bad or wrong by any means. I’m just saying that we need to realize it’s based upon our beliefs that pain takes a long time to recover from.
To change how we feel about death is a painful and even ridiculous thought to many.
This can relate to how we feel about changing a dangerous habit. We want the results, but the actual change is not comfortable.
Link this to feeling good about when someone dies. Doing this linking allows you to understand the pain involved, and the ridiculous feeling of making the change.
You probably will never feel good about the death of a loved one, but you can learn to feel good about making a necessary change of thought pattern that will create a new constructive pattern guiding toward change.
It goes around the short circuit of paralysis created by not wanting to change because it seems too hard and uncomfortable. The results of the change seem good, yet the implementation is a different story. Can you see the point?
Using this technique is a way to get rid of the enjoyment of destructive behavior embedded in our habits.
In case you haven’t seen this yet, my friend and coach Dr. Steve G. Jones recorded a video where he shows the first of many secrets to Total Money Magnetism.
At the end of the video, I give details of my recommended program. You can watch the video now here.
Here is the link to my my eBook How To Change Anything In Your Life. I promised to provide a reference to it at the beginning of this article. You can find it by going here.
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